Question: My teenager frequently rolls her eyes, sighs and makes rude comments like “You can’t make me.” I’m worried about what this means for the future. My past experience with conflict is that it leads to divorce and hard family experiences. I feel scared and angry at her reactions which causes me to want to control her, yet I’m helpless and tend to hide. I end up just avoiding the conflict altogether but I know this is not creating the result I want. How else can I think about this?
Answer: First, let’s try to neutralize this typical teenage behavior. They are in a difficult phase of life trying to navigate increasing independence and parents generally have a hard time giving as much freedom as kids want. Can you agree that you see things differently from your growing young adult and that’s ok? It’s meant to be that way! Can you tap into your divinity to see that God is aware of you and your individual circumstances? He knows exactly what you’ve been through and how to help you navigate this phase with all of your natural concerns. Try thinking “My home is the perfect place to learn how to handle conflict.” There is no shortage of conflict in the world and you are equipping her with tools to be successful as you work together to find resolutions. As you invite trust, hope, peace and clarity you will be more proactive in your teaching, able to hold space when needed and be open to inspiration from the Spirit. You will become a mother who is learning and growing through the conflict along with your daughter. This is a process and you are beautifully prepared for it!
