QUESTION:
My son found the cookies I put high in the pantry that I agreed to provide for a gathering. He ate seven of them! Now I only have 3/4 of the package to deliver. I’m feel so frustrated and disappointed.
ANSWER:
This can feel so frustrating when things don’t go as expected. Especially when it involves others. How did you respond in this moment? I know I tend to chastise and make a big deal out of it.
Let’s consider what principle we want to teach with our actions. What do you know about family life and teenagers? I know families are built on forgiveness. These are important opportunities to teach how to handle unmet expectations. What if you chose to be curious instead of accusatory? I wonder what is going on for this son as he felt driven to find and then the urge to eat the cookies? I know that feeling! I’m sure he’s trying his best to handle his emotions too. This helps me get to compassion. I can then listen and create a safe space for his honesty and conversation. I can teach him what to instead of emotional eating.
My result is greater understanding and closeness to him. As a family we are progressing and communicating better. (I will explicitly label the cookies or tell everyone not to eat them next time!) And really no one will miss a few less cookies at the gathering!
